Hobbies

I think it's a bad thing when writing in this blog becomes an item on my to-do list. Oh well here it goes.

I have developed a hobby I am especially stoked about!! All summer while I have been wasting my life away my mom has been trying to force activities on me such as cooking, sewing, and crocheting. No offense to you Mom but those things flat out suck. In the parable of the talents the Lord encourages his servants each to multiply the talents they have been given. Well I am sure God is smiling down upon me as I have discovered and obsessively developed this new talent of mine!
A few days ago I was feeling my brain began to melt out of my ears because I was so bored. I randomly looked in the games closet and pulled out one that used to be one of my favorites..... Rummikub!!! I shrieked at the top of my lungs for my sister Kimmyto get in there and entertain me. I instantly became hooked and began to love this game even more when I could consecutively win every game against my poor sister. I even dragged her on a babysitting job with me so we could play. While we were babysitting, I completely forgot about the kid I was watching in the midst of my epic game playing. After about 7 games, Kimmy looked up and asked me where the kid went. She went into his room and he had found a tube of Desatin and rubbed it all over himself and the baby. They freakishly looked like they had both died and came back to interrupt my Rummikub game as ghosts.
Kimmy finally got sick of losing to me. She's a poor sport is what it comes down to. I started experiencing withdrawals from being able to match up tiles and came up with a solution!! I downloaded the game on my computer. The computer I play against is named Sebastian. At first it was a challenge but I think I have finally humbled Sebastian with my skills. Play me, I dare you.

"Making money is a hobby that will complement any other hobbies you have, beautifully."
--Scott Alexander

Annoyance

This blog is officially devoted to how peeved I feel at the moment. Therfore if you don't wish to be bombarded by many whiny statements feel free to exit out. I would like to start off with this morning. I was woken up at 9:15 by my wonderful mother. I rolled over and looked at my phone. "what the flip?!" I thought to myself, "what teenager gets up before noon in the summer?!" Especially ones that stay up into all hours of the night doing absolutely nothing. I would like to use the analogy of getting drunk to staying up all night, in the morning you can't remember what happened for the life of you and are extremely irritable to lights, sounds, and the most subtle of human movements. Getting back to me drowsily moaning in my bed, I was then sent off on an array of errands to be completed, including being the official family chauffer to all my siblings. I constantly wonder to myself why they can't ride their bikes anywhere! As we drive I enjoy telling them stories about back in my day we rode our bikes six miles, uphill in 122 degree heat! This compares directly to the stories my parents used to tell me of how they used to walk uphill both ways to school in the snow. Needless to say it is only about 113 degrees outside. I believe this lovely Arizona heat is starting to get to me. I'm afraid to see what else will irriate me by the end of the day... and it's only 3:18....

"A grouch escapes so many little annoyances that it almost pays to be one."
--Kim Hubbard

Invincibility

Today karma caught up with me. I am the type of person that learns lessons the hard way. I was the type of kid that when my mother told me the stove is hot decided to put my hand smack down on it just to see if she was lying to me or not. At sixteen I was also the type of kid who was at the DMV at the crack of dawn on their birthday to get their license. The sense of freedom and speed driving presented me with was thrilling. My motto was, speed limit? Amy Webb has no speed limit. I scoffed at my friends who got pulled over. What were they doing wrong that they couldn't avoid the cops better? I loved to tell stories about driving, seeing a cop, and pulling into the nearest turn of a neighborhood and pretending like I was in the middle of a high speed chase to get away from the potential of being pulled over. An accident couldn't even convince me to change my ways. How dare the person I crashed into have put their car in that spot? Let's commence to the present. Today I had to pick up my brother from a friend's. I was annoyed that I couldn't convince him to walk home a mile in 100 degree weather. I was still in my pajamas, without shoes, and rushed out of my house with my keys lacking my license. I soared down my favorite road to speed on with no problems. On the way back, I saw something at the end of that straight shot of a road. It looked like a kid sitting on his bike on the sidewalk just chillin. I peered down the road at him and thought what a weirdo why is that kid just sitting there?? However as I got closer the kid on the bike was pointing a gun at me... This was no retarded kid to my dismay, it was a jerk face of a cop just waiting to get sick pleasure out of giving me a ticket. After being convicted of 3 violations and coming close to being sent straight to jail, the ticket summed up to be about $650. I just learned a lesson worth nearly seven hundred dollars today and that is- I am a moron.

"Two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity; and I'm not sure about the universe." --Albert Einstein

Yoga

This morning I experienced an epic butt kicking. I guess I'm what you call an experienced Yoga lover. I've experienced becoming in tune with my inner chi and all that jazz and when it comes down to it I love the "sport." This summer I decided instead of wasting my life on facebook I was going to something beneficial to my health. I signed up for this yoga class near my house that was tragically early in the morning figuring again that, it would be good for me. I went this morning for the first time sporting my cute little yoga pants with my matching mat and truly looked the part. The composition of the class consisted of all middle aged woman who I assume had each had children. This is where the irony comes into play. I am 18 years old. That is a statement of fact. Considering that fact I should be in the best shape and condition of my life. For the most part I am, I can get up a flight of stairs without passing out and run to the mailbox but that's about the extent of my abilities. Let's get back to the class. Now as I viewed these women, they were hard core with rock hard abs! Every single one of them had a body that I felt inferior to at my young age. We started warming up and already I needed to take a breather. Half way through theclass my muscles were shaking and I fell flat on my mat several times. By the end of the class I passed out on my mat during relaxation. When I got up I could barely stand up and totally whacked my head on the wall in the process of elevating myself to my feet. Maybe I'll improve as I continue on my journey of competing with a bunch of 40 year old women.
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"Yoga is the fountain of youth. You're only as young as young as your spine is flexible. "
- Bob Harper

Conforming

Just like most, I wanna be cool! It's probably my number one goal in life, besides reaching five feet tall and driving the whole Loop 202. With that in mind I believe that starting this blog will help me to accomplish all of my goals and wildest dreams. I hope this blog will continually enlighten whoever so chooses to view it. At this point I would like to introduce myself.....

Five Fascinating Things About the One and Only Me
1. I love to write, write, and write some more. So watch out.
2. I can sleep anywhere. My favorite nap spot is under my piano.
3. I am the world's biggest moocher. Drinks, food... especially food.
4. UofA is the only school that can make you proud to be a freshman once again.
5. I am in the process of finding a new companion. Most likely a beta fish....

In closing I would like to add "I am free of all prejudices, I hate everyone equally."
- W.C. Fields